Strange things have been occuring in my home town lately. Not X-Files strange; each event on their own might merely be thought of as peculiar, and perhaps a bit funny, but put together they make you think the government is putting Crazy Juice in the tap water.

A couple of weeks ago, a Lithuanian male, visiting Sweden as a tourist, had shoplifted a bottle of Swedish vodka. As a guard in civilian clothing confronted him, the Lithuanian darted for the mall exits.

The guard and a couple of his colleagues ran after him. They followed him no more than a block or two, after which they found that the Lithuanian shoplifter had jumped into the river which goes through the town. The guards walked along the river as the Lithuanian swimmed with fervor in the direction of the ocean.

In a short while, onlookers had gathered. At first they were dumbfounded with the strange behaviour of the man, swimming seemingly for his life while his "chasers" were walking beside him on the side of the river. After another short while, people realized the comedy of the situation and started rooting for the crazy person to swim faster.

The guards called the police, and since the Crazy Lithuanian had jumped into the river not far from the police station, and was swimming in their direction, it didn't take them long to arrive either. Several times, a life buoy was thrown to the man, which he dived under and "escaped" from with the same fervor he was swimming with.

After a while, even the once entertained crowds got bored with the crazy person in the river, and began instead to taunt him, and pleaded to him to give up. When the man had swimmed a good 500 meters from where he initially jumped into the water, the police used a rescue boat located at the side of the river, and tried to apprehend him.

The Lithuanian refused. Instead of realizing how futile his situation was, and that he was doing this only becuse he had shoplifted a bottle of liquor, he refused to give up and crawled into a pipe in the side of the high walls going along the river. Eventually, the Lithuanian, cold and completely exhausted, was unable to fight off the police. He made a final attempt at diving under the policemen's grasp, but it was unsuccessful. The crowd cheered.

A little over a week later, a man ran out of a department store, wearing several expensive sport brand coats. He passed on the stolen goods to at least four accomplices, after which he was seen by the guards who chased after him. Although, only for a couple of blocks, after which the thief -- that's right -- jumped into the river.

What drove these people to think of the river as some kind of exit point, I don't know. Nobody knows. Nothing about the river going through my home town -- with its high slippery stone walls going along side of it, and with bridges not too far apart crossing it -- says "escape route".

Crazy Juice.

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